Communicating with and Engaging

Parents

GoalsO Identify the importance of

engagementO Learn ways to engage parentsO Review strategies for parent-teacher

conferencesO Understand strategies for working

with difficult situations

Why engage parents?

High Impact Engagement

What are ways we can engage parents?

Parent Contacts—Self-Assessment

1. # of students with academic and behavioral problems?____

2. How many parents have you talked to about these issues?___

3. Any positive notes or phone calls home? y/n

4. How frequently do you input grades? How much info do you provide?______

Obstacles to Parent Contact

Do you do any of the following?1. Apologize for calling a parent about a

problem with a child? Y/N2. Avoid talking to parents because you

are afraid they will criticize you? Y/N3. Wait until the problem deteriorates

before calling to inform the parent?Y/N

4. Avoid talking to the administration about problems with parents or students? Y/N

Why do you think parents might get angry in dealing

with teachers?1.

2.

3.

Reasons parents may get angry:

O Failure to communicateO Lack of follow throughO They don’t know any other way to

actO They only have part of the storyO Assumptions/stereotypesO DefensivenessO Breaking promisesO Unwilling to apologize or admit

mistakesO Discredit parents’ knowledge of childO Condescension, rudeness,

intimidation, dishonesty

Parenting Styles --Get to know the parentsO Enabling Parent:

Over-protective, helicopters. Rescues and protects child. Results in child’s lack of confidence. Child is dependent on parent. Parent will blame others. They view children as fragile.

O Authoritative Parent:Bossy, demanding, explosive, hostile. Parents tell child what to do because they can’t think for themselves. Restriction of privileges. Adults know what is best. No questioning of parent.

Parenting Styles --Get to know the parentsO Absent Parent:

Missing, unattached. Disinterested in being involved. No support, attention, or love. Inconsistent discipline. Parents make excuses about their own behavior.

O Rational Parent:Assertive, nurturing, respectful and reasonable. Intervene when appropriate. Want child to be independent thinker.

Have you ever been under attack by a parent? What

did you do?O Share examples.

When you are under attack.

1. Check your self-talk. Are your thoughts making you angry?

2. If you made a mistake-admit it and apologize.

3. Put yourself in the parents’ shoes. How would you feel?

4. Affirm the parent’s intent.“You are trying the best you can.” “You are trying to protect your child.”

Avoid triggersO TroubleO WorriedO AngryO Fed upO UpsetO AnnoyedO Sick of problemO Don’t know what to doO ButO Never O Always O Tired ofO I have 27 other students to worry about

Use caring statementsO “Your child matters.”O “Your child’s success is important.”O “I care about your child’s success.”O “Your child is important.”O “How can we improve the situation

for your child?”

Disarm CriticismO If criticism is justified, admit and

apologize.O If criticism is not justified try the

following:Listen without interrupting. Don’t be defensive. Ask for more information. Refocus the conversation back to the original point.

Refocusing TechniqueO “I hear you are upset about his

behavior. We need to talk about how we can work together to help him.”

O “I see you’re frustrated because you feel nothing works. I know that if we work together it can be different.”

O “We are meeting today because we both care about Mike’s progress.”

Express disagreement by saying-

O “I’d like to offer another idea.”O “Here’s another thought.”O “Have you ever thought about this?”

Contact parents at the first sign of a problem.

O A common complaint among parents is that teachers wait too long before contacting them about a problem.

Your own child test:O How would you want your child’s

teacher to handle this?For example, if your child forgot

homework one day would you want to be called? If your child forgot his homework 3-4 days in a row would you want to be called?

Phone call to parents. Steps to take.

1. Start with a concern statement2. Describe the behavior specifically3. Tell what you have done4. Ask for parent input5. State what you would like the

parent to do6. Close with confidence7. Date for follow-up

Active Listening and Validation

Active ListeningO “You are saying…”O “You feel that

because…”O “Correct me if I am

wrong…”Ask questionsO “Can you tell me mor

e?”O “Could you give me an

example?”Get to the pointO “What do you want to

see happen?

ValidationO “I can see why you are

upset.”O “I’m sorry you’re

feeling unsupported.”Feelings—give it a

nameO Terrified, panicked,

frustrated, anxious, discouraged

Give optionsO “Do you think it might

be possible to…?”O “One thing I thought

might help is…”

Practice: Respond to the following

1. “If the work was more interesting, you’d be getting better results.”

2. “My son has a difficult time with female teachers.”

3. “Perhaps if you can’t handle the class you shouldn’t be a teacher.”

4. “When my child is at school he is your responsibility.”

5. “My child feels like you are always picking on him.”

Tips to take with you.O Don’t make promises you can’t keepO Apologize when you are wrongO Tell the truthO Be thorough and conscientiousO Attack the problem, never the

person.O Build people up whenever you can.