Post on 16-Oct-2020
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(CLIENT)
(Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14)
JON: (Name withheld), what is today’s date, do you know?
CLIENT: October 11th.
JON: The 11th, that’s right, October 2014. It’s great to get started with
you, dear. What is it you would like being with me today to
address or get done for you?
CLIENT: I think I have a lot of issues. I started taking Paxil about three
years ago when my husband’s problems with his family started. I
think my husband became pretty ill; he was just going through a
very rough path having all the anxiety and panic attacks. He
would come home and lay on the floor and said he was not feeling
his legs.
JON: All kinds of scary stuff.
CLIENT: Yeah. That was my first time in my whole entire life…I’m 32 and
I was 29 at the time…that I started really having problems in my
life, because I’m the only child and my mom always protected me.
My mom and dad are separated but they always got along really
well. My mom always took the problems herself so I didn’t have
to deal with them, and I was raised in a very calm environment.
My mom’s side of the family, they all suffer from anxiety. My
mom used to smoke until about a year ago. She gets very anxious
when she has problems, but she’s a tough person. She has a tough
personality, unlike me. I’m more like my dad who is more of a
negative person, so I guess I got the combination of my mom’s
anxiety and my dad’s negativity.
JON: I am not sure what you mean by negativity.
CLIENT: Every time my dad has to deal with problems he’s…
JON: Well tell me with you. What do you mean by negativity?
CLIENT: Negative thoughts.
JON: What do you mean by negative?
CLIENT: Say, for instance, like yesterday I was thinking about a bunch of
things, let’s see…for instance, the company, because now I help
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
my husband with the new company. And, instead of thinking the
company is doing well and my husband is working a lot but
hopefully he will have some free time in the near future, I start
thinking what if he doesn’t have any free time? What if we can’t
have a normal life? Our friends are always inviting us to go out
and we can’t because we’re not like a normal couple anymore. He
works a lot. You know, instead of thinking everything is going to
be fine, I go the other way. Not all the time, but most of the time.
JON: So by negative, am I understanding some of them have been
fearful thoughts?
CLIENT: Very. I’ll tell you, I came from Cuba when I was 19. It was really
tough for me but I knew I was doing the right thing because I
wanted a better future. I met my husband in a month. I wasn’t
looking for anyone, but he tried really hard, he was a good guy, we
fell in love and we dated for three years. We never lived together;
I lived with my dad. Then we got married and we moved in
together and everything was perfectly fine for six years in a row
after we got married. The company with his brother was doing
fine. His brother, I always thought he was pretty crazy from the
day I met him.
JON: I forget what kind of company it was.
CLIENT: Home electronics…
JON: I remember, installing high-end things in high-end homes, now I
remember.
CLIENT: Yes. He worked for several different companies until his brother
and he started to open their own company.
JON: To have their own place, right. I remember now that story.
CLIENT: Yeah, for six years…sometimes I said to myself, how come
everyone is struggling and my life has always been…like I always
thought that one day this isn’t going to be like this. I always
thought our lives, in my mind, it was pretty perfect. I’m the kind
of person…my mom is not like that but my dad is…I like things to
be 100 percent perfect, which is never going to happen. Life is not
perfect, but I always try to have everything as close as perfect, and
I always do things perfect otherwise I don’t do it. So, for about six
years my husband’s and his brother’s company was doing good.
They were making a lot of money. I used to go to school. I never
worked a day in my life until about three years ago when I had to
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
help my husband. I was going to (name withheld) University
doing the things I loved to do. I had a lot of free time and I never
knew about the issues when they had the company together. I
mean, I would hear some stories about clients, but I was never
worried about, you know, problems like moneywise because my
husband never brought those problems home. And, it was like that
for six years. Between me and my husband, ever since we got
married, we will have, like regular couples, issues, get upset at
each other, but the things you can deal with and move on. But then
my husband’s brother started having problems with his wife and
that’s when everything started. It was pretty crazy, like, he thought
she was cheating on him. My husband was working, running the
company by himself. The brother was going crazier, and I always
thought he was crazy and the wife was pretty crazy, too. She was
driving me nuts. She would call me, and I think that’s when the
whole thing started because I started getting anxiety because…
JON: By anxiety what do you mean?
CLIENT: Just the thoughts.
JON: Thoughts?
CLIENT: Yeah, just like the thoughts of things not…
JON: Fear thoughts?
CLIENT: Fear thoughts of things. I said, this has got to end; this is going to
have not a happy ending.
JON: So you said there were two things. You said there was anxiety and
you said there was negativity, but you have described them both
the same way. Are they any different from each other, or are we
talking about fear thoughts?
CLIENT: Yeah, like, fear thoughts. Like for me anxiety, when you try to
think ahead, how is my life going to be a year from now?
JON: So the problem has been fear thoughts. Have there been angry
thoughts?
CLIENT: Oh, yeah. At the beginning, angry thoughts with my ex-sister-in-
law with my brother-in-law because at first I thought they used me.
When they were having problems they would go to my house
where I was cleaning or doing things by myself, and they would
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
just fight in front of me and call the police. And she would knock
on my door at 4 o’clock.
JON: Have there been angry thoughts lately?
CLIENT: No, not lately. They moved on…
JON: There haven’t been angry thoughts lately, there have only been
fear thoughts lately?
CLIENT: I’ll tell you, my grandma died a week before I had this big panic
attack. My grandmother lived in Cuba and she wanted me to go to
Cuba to see her…
JON: The panic attack was how long ago?
CLIENT: Three years ago.
JON: Have there been any since? How long since the last one?
CLIENT: Three or four days ago. Not like big ones because I take my pills.
I’m on very low doses of medication. I have been taking Paxil, 10
mg, because Dr. (name withheld) prescribed this medication after
my grandmother died because I was so, so sad. I cried and I had
this feeling that I didn’t go see her and I felt guilty for a while. At
the same time, I was dealing with my husband’s issues with his
brother and it was like I took a lot of stress. I was so stressed out,
you know when you’re trying to breathe? I was like that for a
week that I had days where I couldn’t.
JON: That was years ago?
CLIENT: Yeah, that was three years ago. And I started not sleeping well. I
started going to bed and waking up in the middle of the night
thinking of my problems. I was very sensitive because of my
grandmother’s passing so I think that’s why the problems with my
husband hurt even more.
JON: Bring me to what’s going on for you currently that made you think
to come to see me.
CLIENT: I still haven’t moved on from the night I woke up feeling really
thirsty, I went downstairs and I went from feeling really hot to
feeling super cold. I had a little bit of water and…
JON: You haven’t moved on and you’ve continued to feel fearful.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
CLIENT: Honestly, that day I thought I was dying…I thought I was having a
heart attack or something.
JON: I understand what happened that day. But that hasn’t been
happening.
CLIENT: Not like that, because a week after the panic attack, I stayed really
nervous and anxious.
JON: Yes, and then you got the prescription, I understand.
CLIENT: The Paxil, 10 mg, and Lorazepam for the days I can’t sleep well, I
take .5 mg of the Lorazepam, and I have been trying to get off the
medication twice recently.
JON: So what was it at this point that made it be you thought now you
wanted to come and meet with me? How come now? How come
not last year? And how come now?
CLIENT: Dr. (name withheld) has been telling me to come see you, but I
thought it was something I could help myself with the medication.
But the thing is every time I’m feeling good, and I tried to start
weaning off the medication, I’m fine for a month or two, and then
little by little, I’m back to start having to take the medication again
because of the fears. The fears get better and the medication
helps…
JON: Now I understand what’s been happening. When I saw (name
withheld), he seemed pleased with his meeting with me when he
spoke to you?
CLIENT: Yes.
JON: And it seemed to be helpful, yet not make everything wonderfully
better but make things significantly better?
CLIENT: Well, with the problems with his family, yes. I think that helped
him a lot.
JON: That was the focus.
CLIENT: But he didn’t tell you the other issues, because that is what was
really bothering him at the time. But (name withheld) has a lot of
issues. His whole entire family, they are not 100 percent normal.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: I understand.
CLIENT: I feel like out of the whole family, he’s the one who has a good
heart and he’s sweet most of the time. He loves to help people.
But he’s the type of person who will stress me out and stress my
mom out. He’s a worrier and me too. We worry about things too
much and it’s not good. It’s not good because the minute you start
worrying, and for me, in particular…like my mom tries to help but
she’s not a psychologist. The minute I tell her I’m having these
thoughts, especially when I’m not on the medication, I start feeling
dizzy or either very anxious, actually aggressive at times, like I
scream at (name withheld). Then, after the anxiety comes the
depression, like I don’t feel like doing anything, plus I get the fear.
It’s something that after the first panic attack, I tried to move on
but I don’t quite…
JON: I understand what’s happened.
CLIENT: My husband has a lot of problems. A year ago I told him we
needed to see a marriage counselor because some things he doesn’t
learn. Like I tell him please don’t drive fast when we’re together
in the car. He tries to, but in the end, it’s something that is not up
to him…it’s his personality. With the music, he likes the music
really loud, and I’m like, oh my gosh, you’re driving me crazy.
We try to get along and it’s hard. He doesn’t really listen.
JON: Do you have children?
CLIENT: Uh uh. That’s my other issue, like, I just turned 32 and I really
need to get my life straightened so we can plan a family. Because,
he’s 35, I’m 32. Every time I tell him about having kids he’s like,
oh, I’m not sure. Like, I know the way he was raised, it’s totally
different than the way I was raised. He’s more of…like I don’t
think he wants to take responsibilities for anything. Like, every
time I tell him, hey, you know once I get pregnant, he’s like, oh,
you know, I’m not sure if I want to have kids. Some other days he
wants to have kids. I don’t know if he’s bipolar, it’s kind of like
he tells me one day one thing…
JON: That’s not an indication of being bipolar.
CLIENT: No, no, I know. But it’s, like, he’s not…
JON: That’s an indication of being undecided.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
CLIENT: Exactly. So, for instance, when we got our dog five years ago, we
said let’s get a dog just to train ourselves and be responsible.
He’s, like, I don’t want a dog. I don’t want to have responsibility.
And he said so many things before we got the dog, like, I’m not
sure if I want to get the dog. And I’m like, (name withheld), you
could help me, I could do this, you could that. And he’s like, I
don’t want to do anything for the dog. Then I got the dog and he
did everything. So sometimes he’s very harsh on me and on
himself, as well. So I feel like my life has changed so much. My
mom did not prepare me for life. Sometimes when I see couples
who are cheating on each other and doing awful things, my mom is
like, honey, life is like that. Life is full of crazy people and people
doing horrible things and that’s life. And for me it’s like, oh my
God, because I was raised different. I see people doing horrible
things and I never had to work. I was focused on school and I had
to stop taking classes.
JON: The way that your mind works is fine. I can tell that because of the
way you are presenting information to me and how it fits together
and is relevant. The way your mind has been processing data has
been within the normal range, but not within the range you would
consider optimal. It’s not been a hardware problem; it’s been a
software data processing problem. The way the data, the way the
information has been read has been causing the emotions and
thoughts that have been disturbing. Information comes in through
the senses, as it does with every other life form. However, only
with human life form is the data that comes in through the senses
stored. You can remember something your mother said to you
earlier today. No other life form would be able to do that. You
can do it because the data that came in didn’t just come in through
binoculars; it came in and then went into like a data processor. So
for zebra, everything is like binoculars. If in binoculars you see a
red cardinal, a red cardinal is there. If red cardinal isn’t there, you
don’t see a red cardinal. If zebra is worried about lion, lion is near
a zebra. If lion isn’t near a zebra, zebra has no thought about a
lion. So when zebra senses take in information, she may become
aware of it because of a sensation or because of an emotion or
because of a thought. The information may be information about
what’s going on inside of her body, or it might be information
about what’s going on outside of her body. It might be
information that stomach is empty. It might be information that
lion is coming. Whether it’s a sensation or an emotion or a
thought, the only purpose is to cause an action. The only reason
the mind causes a feeling is to cause an action. If zebra sees lion,
someone might say, lion made zebra afraid. That’s not actually
accurate. Zebra’s senses brought in info that lion was approaching.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
Zebra’s mind, then, caused the emotion of fear because fear will
cause zebra to become physically stronger and highly motivated.
It will be just perfect for that situation. It’s designed to cause an
explosion of power; it’s not for the long haul. The zebra only
needs to run faster than the slowest zebra and it’s only for a few
moments that she’ll need it. So it’s all out for those few moments
and then it just snaps off when no longer needed. If zebra sees
something that makes her angry—a big bird has landed near her
offspring and seems to threaten it. Zebra becomes angry. Anger
has the purpose of causing an action. The action is to charge and
bite hard. But as soon as the bird flies away, there is no longer any
anger or even any thought about the bird. It’s always fully present
like binoculars. Our minds also are different than zebra’s mind in
that our minds attach aesthetics to things. So you might say to the
zebra, isn’t that a beautiful painting? And zebra would say, I’m
not sure what you mean. And you say, well don’t you see it? And
zebra would say, I certainly do, but I don’t know what you mean
about beautiful. Zebra’s mind doesn’t attach meaning. Your
human mind attaches meaning to things. So you say to the zebra,
look, isn’t that horrible? And zebra says, I’m not sure what you
mean. Or you look and say, isn’t that wonderful? And zebra says,
I’m having trouble following you. She sees what is right there, and
she sees it at the moment. You see how our human minds are
much more complicated? But when our minds became much more
complicated, it’s not that the entire mind became more advanced,
it’s that only one component of the mind became advanced and the
rest remained the same. So you may hear someone say to you, I
would like to calm myself down. Or, I would like to cheer myself
up. Or, I would like to motivate myself to exercise. Or, I would
like to stop myself from worrying. Or, I would like to get myself
started on this term paper. You have heard that all your life. No
other animal would have that thought. A crow wants to be on that
branch. Is crow thinking, I hope I can get myself motivated to go
there? No. If crow wants to be on the branch, what is he doing?
If crow wants to be over there, what is he doing?
CLIENT: He’s going to move there.
JON: He’s flying there. How soon?
CLIENT: As fast as he can.
JON: It’s instantly as soon as there’s the thought. Crow doesn’t have
what you call “self.” Zebra doesn’t have what you call “self.”
Zebra is all “I.” So if it’s “I” want to go there, then “I” am going
there. I’m not trying to get “myself” to go there. I don’t have a
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
“self” I need to get to come with me, I’m just going. Humans have
this thing called “self” they are trying to manage. The reason is, as
our minds became much more advanced, the part of the mind we
identify with that feels like us is the part that you use the word “I”
to refer to. So when somebody says to you, “I” want to calm
myself down, the “I” is the speaker. That is who she identifies
with. “Self” is the more primitive part of the mind. Those two
parts of the mind aren’t even designed to work with each other in
any integrated way. A brand new Lexus would be more advanced
than an old fashioned Ford. But the brand new Lexus has every
component integrated. Everything is made to work with
everything else. If somebody had that old fashioned Ford and he
said to you, I want to modernize it, so I’m going to put in cruise
control, automatic windows, a catalytic converter, a turbo. You
might say to him, I think you could be in trouble with this. And he
says, but your Lexus has those things. Yes, my Lexus is designed
to all work together with that. You take something primitive and
stick modern stuff on top of it, it doesn’t know how to
communicate with itself. Unfortunately, our minds are not built
like that new Lexus. Our minds are built like that old Ford that
somebody has stuck a cruise control into. So, it’s normal to have
dysfunction. Dysfunction is the norm. There are people who will
tell you there is dysfunction, and there are people who won’t tell
you there is dysfunction. But there is very rarely not dysfunction.
So it’s going on within the way most people’s minds are working,
and some more than others. So we have the opportunity to begin
to tune and clear and update your mind so that it will be working
more to your advantage. The way your mind has been working has
been within the range of normal. All of the hardware is fine; it’s
just data processing that is off. Let’s find a way to represent
visually our starting point. We’re going to represent the way your
mind has been processing data recently which has been causing the
feelings of fearfulness and anger that have been so uncomfortable.
We’re going to create a design we can see in our mind that will
represent that. As we make up a design, it will be an abstract
design that doesn’t have recognizable content. As we see it in our
mind’s eye, you may notice that it’s more harsh, glaring, jagged,
vivid. Or you might say, no. It’s more dull, dark, dank, foggy.
Make up the design for what’s going on within the way the info
has been processed within your mind. Is it more dim, dark,
dreary?
CLIENT: Uh huh.
JON: And so we’re done with that. Now what happens for me is that as I
listen hard to what has been, my mind split screens and I begin to
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
see what it is that, at the very highest level, is intended for you.
And what I see is this, I see you with your mind cleared and
updated so that this is, at the highest level, intention. So while
you’re feeling clear and calm, you’re automatically doing what is
in your long term best interest and in the best interest of all of
those you would ever feel to protect. So I’m seeing you
functioning at the very best, comfortably with clarity and security,
doing what is best, personally, and that which protects those you
would protect. Does that sound okay? So we then have the same
target. We have the same intention. You and I are looking toward
the same outcome. Does that make sense?
CLIENT: Uh huh.
JON: Our minds are very responsive to symbols. It’s why all countries
have flags. Let’s find a way to symbolically represent what it is
that we are heading toward. We’re going to symbolically represent
you with your mind clear and focused. We’re going to represent
you with your mind working well, and we’re going to represent it
with some kind of wild animal or wild bird. What animal or bird
would represent what it is that you and I are now intending and
pursuing?
CLIENT: Should I pick an animal?
JON: Well, that’s how I would know what it is.
CLIENT: Say that again.
JON: I said, we’re going to represent what it is that we are, together,
intending and pursuing with a symbol. And the symbol we will
use is some kind of wild bird or animal. And that wild bird or wild
animal will be, then, symbolizing what it is that, together, we are
intending, which is that your mind is clear so you feel secure and
do what is in your best interest and in the best interest of those you
would protect. We’re not creating a way to symbolically represent
what it is that we’re intending, and we’re going to represent it with
some kind of a wild animal. What animal or wild bird would it be?
CLIENT: A lion.
JON: Beautiful. And as you see lion, is lion moving or still?
CLIENT: Still.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: Yes. So we now have an excellent symbol. Each time we inhale,
you know we take in oxygen and you know the oxygen goes to
every cell in the body. So you know that as air is brought in, that
air, that oxygen goes to every cell and energizes every cell. So, to
bring in the energy and the awareness of what lion represents so
that your mind reorganizes to be like that, all you need to do is to
think lion as you very slowly and deeply inhale. Do that now.
Perfect. Now next time, what you’ll so is the same thing, but after
you have inhaled, you will exhale more slowly than you inhale.
While exhaling, you’ll close your eyes and eyes will continue to
rest closed for a few moments until I ask you to open them. So
think lion and exhale even still slower. Eyes continue to rest
closed. And as your eyes are resting closed, lion might come to
mind, but you don’t need to concentrate on it; you don’t need to
purposefully think about it. It’s already been brought in; it’s
already working. Then…you can take your time…and…open your
eyes. So, what did you notice, in terms of thought, during those
few moments?
CLIENT: I was not thinking about anything. Very calm.
JON: So next, let me show you, please, a couple of other things with
energy that I think will be interesting. Because what’s happening
is our energy is coming together to transform the way your mind
processes data and causes feelings. May I show you some things?
Here’s what you do. Turn and face me. Scoot in a little bit. Put
your arm like I have mine. Now in a moment, I’ll ask you to drop
just your hand forward, then I’m going to adjust it. I’m going to
point at a particular spot. You’re going to laser in just at that spot.
I’m going to show you some things about vibratory energy. So,
hand just drops…there. I can adjust it to here. You look right
here, look at that spot and don’t look away. You’ll begin to notice
movement and the movement will be two different kinds. There
will be a constant vibratory movement, and although it’s constant,
it may become more visible. In addition, there will be intermittent
twitches…that’s it…jerks, jumps…that’s it…I withdraw my hand,
and you close your eyes. Your eyes are closed. You can’t see
your hand, but you know where it is because you can sense it. You
can sense it because you can feel it. You can feel it because of
sensation. Sensation is energy. It’s because of energy that you
know where your hand is. There is movement through your
fingers. There is movement through your hand. There are, indeed,
two types of movement. There is a constant vibration, as I pointed
out before. That’s it. Yet, sometimes, like that, there is also…and
that…an intermittent twitch. Both of those movements, while
different, do have certain things in common. Both of those
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
movements are movements that are happening, not through the
direction of your conscious mind. And the way we know it’s not
through the direction of your conscious mind is simply because the
movements that happen through your hand and fingers weren’t
happening on purpose. You, of course…that’s it…can become
conscious…that’s it…of the movement, but you’re not
consciously…there it goes…causing the movement. So the
movement is caused not consciously, the movement is caused
unconsciously, and yet you can be conscious of some of the
movements that aren’t conscious, while realizing that even when
you are conscious of some of what is not conscious, you are also
conscious that you’re not conscious of some of what is not
conscious. And as you are conscious of what is not conscious, you
are also conscious of what is conscious, and yet, not conscious of
what’s not conscious. In a moment, I’ll touch your wrist. You’ll
feel me slowly guiding hand, arm…down…but you notice the way
it moves how differently it seems to move. It’s not the way
anybody would move it. It seems to be moving almost in robot
like click, clack movements, because your inner mind is
wonderfully responsive when treated with…respect. And with
your mind’s wisdom, with your mind’s power, it deserves our
respect…that’s it. Now, once again, you can rest hand, arm,
down...and…then, once again, your eyes can open. There we go.
Good job. So, again, what did you notice, in terms of thought?
CLIENT: Very relaxed.
JON: Isn’t that wonderful? So during that time, in that quiet in between
thoughts, mind was following our direction and creating the
transformation that we are intending. Now, this part of your mind
is very bright and has great access to logic. The primitive part of
the mind is able to learn and understand things, but not at the same
pace or in the same way. What my job will be is to get it to be that
this part of your mind has learned what this part of your mind
already knows. So, this part of your mind isn’t going to be
learning much. But this part of your mind will be learning a lot.
For instance, as I am sitting here with you and we are involved in a
project, in a way, as I’m sitting here with you involved in a project,
is there stuff I should be doing about things that happened to me
seven years ago? While I’m here with you involved in this project,
should I be doing things about stuff that happened?
CLIENT: No.
JON: Okay. Why would you, in this project…what should I be doing
about the young man who met with me for a visit yesterday?
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
Nothing, huh? Okay. I do have an appointment scheduled
tomorrow and another one scheduled later today. While I’m with
you, is there anything I would need to be doing for any of those
people?
CLIENT: No.
JON: Okay. So, have you ever seen a meteor in a museum? Do you
know what a meteor is? It’s a particle that was flying through
space and made its way through the earth’s atmosphere and landed.
And I know in the Museum of Natural History and I saw one in a
museum in Washington, it’s this big rock that, basically, fell out of
the universe and fell on the path, and now they have it in a
museum. There have got to be more of them flying out there.
What do you think I should do about that (laughter)?
CLIENT: (Laughter). There’s not much you can do.
JON: So is there anything I should be doing? No. So, say to me this,
say, there is nothing you need to do about that.
CLIENT: There is nothing you need to do about that.
JON: You’re sure? Is there anything I need to do about that? Say it
again, nope, there’s nothing you need to do about that.
CLIENT: Nope, there’s nothing you need to do about that.
JON: Okay. Well, the population in India is expanding more than would
be a good idea. I know you are here with me and it would be good
if I could give you my attention, because we want to work on a
project together, but is there anything I need to do about this
problem of people who keep having babies in India?
CLIENT: (Laughter). No.
JON: So, say…
CLIENT: There’s nothing you need to do about that.
JON: Okay. Phew. I don’t have to do anything about that whole thing in
India?
CLIENT: No.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: What about the problem in Detroit with too much pollution? Tell
me out loud.
CLIENT: Yeah, there’s nothing you should be doing about that.
JON: Okay. Well, what if my girlfriend is in a bad mood next month?
Say it.
CLIENT: There’s nothing you need to do about that.
JON: Yes! Okay. You’re getting that, aren’t you?
CLIENT: Yeah.
JON: Because everything I need to do is in front of me and is obvious.
Does that make sense?
CLIENT: Uh huh.
JON: Now, there are things you already know, but what is going on is,
they’re dropping in as we’re doing this. Let’s think about your
capability. Let’s think about me first, let’s think about my
capability. In order to live my life as okay as I can, there are
things I am absolutely able to do and they will seem like a good
idea to do and they will come to my mind to do. Can I do them?
CLIENT: Sure.
JON: There you go. I don’t have to worry about that right?
CLIENT: Uh huh.
JON: If something occurs to me to say to you and I think that’s a good
thing to say to her and I can—I’m capable, it’s come to mind and
it’s possible. Could I do it?
CLIENT: Uh huh, sure.
JON: Okay. What if I thought of something that was impossible? Could
I do it?
CLIENT: Uh…sure.
JON: Can I do things that are impossible, which means not possible?
CLIENT: No.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: I can’t do it if it’s not possible, even if I think of it?
CLIENT: You might, yeah.
JON: Okay. If I think about jumping over the sun. That’s not possible.
CLIENT: Uh uh.
JON: Can I do it?
CLIENT: No.
JON: Okay. I think about snapping my fingers and making me floating
upward. That would be so fun. I just thought of it, is it possible?
Can I do it?
CLIENT: No.
JON: Okay. What if something would be possible but it doesn’t occur to
me? Could I do it if it doesn’t occur to me? Even if I could do it,
if it did occur to me, I couldn’t do it if didn’t occur to me. Do I
have to do things that are impossible?
CLIENT: No.
JON: I don’t, for sure. Okay. If I’m with you, is there anything I need to
do that’s completely impossible? No. I don’t need to worry about
doing impossible things. It’s okay if I just do what’s possible
when it comes to mind?
CLIENT: Right.
JON: Do I have to do it if it doesn’t come to mind?
CLIENT: Uh uh.
JON: All I have to do is what I can do if it comes to mind? Watch. All I
have to do is what I can do if it comes to mind. I don’t have to do
it if I can’t do it.
CLIENT: Yeah.
JON: I don’t have to do it if it doesn’t come to mind. I only have to do
what I can do if it does come to mind and seems like a good idea.
If it seems like a good idea and I can do it and it comes to
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
mind…and I can do it. But, if it doesn’t seem like a good idea or if
it doesn’t even come to mind or it’s impossible, then I don’t have
to do it.
CLIENT: I agree.
JON: All right. Now, would you say we would follow the same
recommendations for you?
CLIENT: Yeah.
JON: Okay. So, do you have to do things that are impossible? I’ll show
you a couple of things that are impossible. I like these shoes, but I
would like you to wear different shoes earlier this morning. Go
ahead. Put on different shoes than these this morning, go ahead.
CLIENT: How?
JON: Just say to me, that’s impossible.
CLIENT: Yeah, I’m not home and I decided to wear these shoes.
JON: And this morning isn’t here…
CLIENT: Yeah, it’s gone.
JON: Right. So when I say, put on different shoes this morning, you say,
that’s impossible.
CLIENT: That’s impossible.
JON: Okay. And then I’ll say, unfold your arms yesterday. Hurry up.
You can’t do that either, can you? Okay, unfold your arms next
week. Hurry up. Right! You can’t do it in the past; you can’t do
it in the future. Make people get along better with each other in
Chicago, hurry. You can’t do it if it’s not in range.
CLIENT: Right.
JON: What you can do, the only thing you’ve got to do, is what occurs to
you that seems like a good idea that’s possible...that’s it. Those are
all of your responsibilities. Do you have to do things that don’t
occur to you? Do you have to do things that aren’t possible? Do
you have to do things you think are a bad idea? So all you’ve got
to do is what you think is a good idea that’s possible for you to do
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
when it comes to mind. That’s it. Okay. Now, you totally agree
with me.
CLIENT: Uh huh.
JON: You totally know that. But you know what, the primitive part of
the mind that is in the environment of this more advanced thoughts
and information coming in, the primitive part of the mind doesn’t
know that yet, even though you know that. And it’s been causing
all kinds of feelings in order to try to get you to do things that
aren’t possible. Put on different shoes this morning, hurry! Things
like that. Right? You came here from Cuba when you were 19,
didn’t you?
CLIENT: Uh huh.
JON: Well, don’t. Come here from Cuba when you were 18. Hurry up
(laughter)! Thing like that. Calm (name withheld) down
yesterday, come on. See, all that stuff? So here, you totally know
that. But do you get it that primitive mind hasn’t really known
that, and it’s been causing feelings, and the only purpose of
feelings is to cause action. People don’t know that. But the only
reason, if we feel something, it’s because our own minds make us
feel it; and the only reason our mind makes us feel anything is to
get us to do something, and the only reason it tries to get us to do
something is if it thinks there is something that needs to be done.
So if somebody is worrying, it means their mind thinks there is
something that needs to be done about things that aren’t going on.
So you say, what’s the matter, you look worried. I say, I am. You
say, what is it? I say, the meteors. You say, what do you mean? I
say, well they are flying through space and one could hit Los
Angeles (laughter).
CLIENT: (Laughter).
JON: And you say, guess what dude? There is nothing you need to do
about that. And I go, are you sure? And you say, absolutely, I
promise. There is nothing you need to do about that. I go, oh, oh
boy do I feel better! But what about India? There’s nothing you
need to do about that, either. Have a nice day. You don’t have to
do anything about meteors; you don’t have to do anything about
India. Well what if my brother got sick next year? You say,
there’s…
CLIENT: There’s nothing you need to do about that.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: Yeah! I go, phew! I feel myself relaxing and breathing better, and
I think I can do a better job with you now because I’m feeling like
I’m focused and clear, and while I’m talking to you, I’m not
thinking about India so much (laughter).
CLIENT: Right.
JON: I’m paying attention to you and I’m totally with our conversation.
And if you say to me, well what about Detroit? I would say, I’m
doing this. This is what I’m doing. I’m interested in what I can
do. There are a billion things I can’t do, but that would be like
going to a restaurant and he says, let me tell you the things that
aren’t on the menu. I’m like, it’s okay. I’m good. Just tell me
what is on the menu. Well, do you want to know what we had
yesterday that we don’t have anymore? Not so much. Well, here
is what we’re going to plan to start serving next month. That’s
okay (laughter). What can you bring me today? Well, here are
some things I could bring you and you wouldn’t like them. What
could you bring me today that I would like that would be good for
me? That’s all you want to know, just that. What an easy job to
tell you those. I thought I would have to be here for the rest of my
life telling you about all the things…no. Just what do you have
that I would like that you could bring me right now?
CLIENT: Simple like that.
JON: Simple like that, and with that, mind is just so clear…so clear.
Somebody says, but if you have a child, maybe it’s a daughter, and
maybe when she goes to second grade, there will be a fifth grader
who comes into the classroom and shoots her teacher right in front
of her. I mean, don’t you think that would be awful?
CLIENT: That would be, for sure.
JON: And then she would have nightmares, and you say, there’s nothing
I need to do about that.
CLIENT: Yeah.
JON: Totally, right? What about the Civil War, the Battle of
Gettysburg? People are getting killed, injured, young men. What
are you going to do? There is nothing I need to do about that.
Now, it’s not there is nothing I can do. It’s that there is nothing I
need to do. It’s an important distinction, because if I am not able
to do it, do I need to do it? So what there is for me to say, is not, I
can’t do anything about that, but what is more appropriate is, there
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
is nothing I need to do about that. So, I’m going to start saying
things to you, and you answer every question the same way, okay?
What about what Stalin is going to do in Russia years ago?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Well, what about Hitler? Hitler is horrible?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: The Klu Klux Klan is having a revival in Alabama.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: There’s an anti-Cuban faction of the Klu Klux Klan that is starting
in Chicago.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: There you go. There you go. Clear, clear, clear, clear…beautiful.
Here, we’ve got it. Here is how we can get it the rest of the way
down. I just have to say what you already know so that it’s heard
by your inner mind. That’s it. And in order to do that, all I have to
do is get you to move your eyes like mine are moving now while
I’m talking to you. Wait until I start. I’ve got to think of what to
say. You do that, I talk to you and, it’s the damndest thing, but
what I say goes right in and your unconscious completely gets it.
So, let’s start with this one. Move your eyes, follow my finger,
follow my finger. What is (name withheld)’s brother’s first name?
CLIENT: (Name withheld).
JON: Okay. So, there’s nothing you need to do about (name withheld)
in the past. There’s nothing you need to do about (name
withheld)’s marriage. There’s nothing you need to do about
(name withheld)’s wife. There’s nothing you need to do about
(name withheld)’s business with your husband. There’s nothing
you need to do about (name withheld) and your husband. Okay,
now when I was saying that last one, there was a thought that was
a little different, wasn’t there? And what was the thought that was
different than the one I was saying?
CLIENT: What I thought?
JON: Yes, something came to your mind that was a little different than I
was saying. What was it?
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
CLIENT: Yeah, my husband’s problems. I just thought of that.
JON: Okay. So, here’s what we do. Are you going to be able to do
things that are possible for you that are a good idea if they come to
mind?
CLIENT: Yes.
JON: Are you sure you can do what you’re absolutely able to do if it
occurs to you and seems like a good idea? Okay, here we go.
Watch this. All you need to do in terms of what is going on with
your husband is one thing. All you need to do is what you’re able
to do that you think is a really good idea at the moment that it
comes to mind to do it. You can do what you think is a good idea
that is completely possible for you to do as it comes to mind to do
it. That is all you have to do about your husband; that is all you
have to do about his problems. The only thing you have to do is
what you’re able to do at the moment it comes to mind. You don’t
have to do anything about any problem he had yesterday, last
month, last year, when he was a child, in the womb or any other
time. There is nothing you need to do about anything he will
worry about in seven years. And, the only thing you need to do is
what comes to your mind to do that seems like a good idea when it
comes to mind, and you can absolutely do that—you can
absolutely do everything that you need to do. You’re completely
capable of doing absolutely everything you need to do. Now take
a big breath, follow up with your eyes and close your eyes as you
exhale. Perfect. I’m going to touch your wrist and lift your arm.
Perfect. Then, you become very aware of your hand as I tap the
back of it. You begin to notice sensations in the fingers.
Sensations in your fingers and movements are beginning.
Movements began in your fingers that you’re not causing. You be
interested in your hand and curious…that’s it…as to how the
fingers are going to move…interested in how they will jump and
move…interested in how it’s going to happen. And as it’s
happening, inner mind is responding to lion…inner mind
responding to lion…aware of hand, fingers, sensations…energy.
Now, there have been experiences you had where the experience is
completely finished and nothing needs to be done about it, but your
primitive mind hasn’t gotten that…that’s it…full knowledge. I
know, you know, we want your inner mind to know. One of those
things is that experience you had three years ago. All kinds of
feelings happened in your body, all kinds of thoughts and terrible
fears. And now, here you are with me knowing there’s nothing
you need to do about the Battle of Gettysburg. There is nothing
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
you need to do about meteors. And, there’s nothing you need to do
about that. Just hear yourself, but silently say these words, there’s
nothing I need to do about that!
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: And say it just like I did.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that!
JON: Again. There’s nothing…
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that!
JON: So, I’m going to mention different things. I am going to be
tapping your forehead. You stay aware of your hand and energy
there, and whatever I say, you give me the same answer. And,
here we go. We’re going to start with the Klu Klux Klan’s anti-
Cuban faction that is being developed in Chicago now. What
about that?
CLIENT: There is nothing I need to do about that.
JON: All right. Then, what about Charlie Manson? What about that?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Okay. What about (name withheld)’s crazy brother’s wife? What
about that?!
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: What about when his brother was in your living room? What
about that?!
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Well, what about that panic attack you had three years ago?! You
thought you were going to die right then??!!
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: What about how you can’t see the moon sometimes when it’s
cloudy?! Have you ever thought about that?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: Well, what if when your daughter goes to school, somebody is
really nasty to her fourth grade teacher and she feels embarrassed
for the teacher?!
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Big breath in…out slow. I’m going to lift your arm, you just let it
fall into my hand…fall, like no bones live there…no bones, no
bones…no bones…breath in, and watch. It just falls…it just
falls…there it goes…there it goes…and then…once again, when
you’re ready, you open your eyes. All right. So, think about the
design we began with, remember that was representing how your
mind was processing the data? It was dark and dim. What does it
look like now?
CLIENT: Clear. Very clear.
JON: Yeah. Now, I’m going to say things that I just want you to react
to, and I think you’ll react by saying, there’s nothing I need to do
about that.
CLIENT: Okay.
JON: What if you get pregnant and then you have a child, and then
(name withheld) is taking the child to school and a blue jay flies
into the windshield and smashes and dies right in front of your
child, and then your child has nightmares about that and feels the
blue jay is blaming him.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I can do about that.
JON: No. There is nothing I need to do about that.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Yeah, say it again.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Well, then what about that KKK thing in Chicago?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: But it’s all about the anti-Cuban KKK. What about that?
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: What about (name withheld)’s brother?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Well, what about his ex-wife?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: Well, what if (name withheld) begins to think that people in the
government are trying to steal from him?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: There you go.
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that.
JON: What if he thinks the FBI is following him and trying to put secret
devices in his shoes?
CLIENT: There’s nothing I need to do about that?
JON: All right, that’s great (laughter). So, check, now, what it feels like
inside you.
CLIENT: Happy…very relaxed, different.
JON: Good. Well you did a great job with me today. Is there anything
at all we haven’t spoke about that you wanted to make sure we got
to in today’s visit?
CLIENT: Nothing comes to mind.
JON: I feel like we covered what was really hot right away…
CLIENT: Right.
JON: …and completely and well. We didn’t just get the car washed, we
got the car detailed, when you get in there and clean it with a Q-tip
around those things that really…
CLIENT: …bothered me.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
JON: …yeah, the things that were really going on. Doesn’t it feel like
we did that?
CLIENT: Yeah.
JON: So I think that’s great. I think the idea of getting together with me
was harder than the actual getting together with me, right?
CLIENT: Uh huh, yeah.
JON: Right? The idea was kind of like building a whole time, and the
actuality was more like adjusting a shelf.
CLIENT: Right.
JON: So I think it would be useful for you to meet with me three or four
times in order to just keep clearing and making things work in a
way that is really secure and good for you. What I would
recommend is our next meeting would be a little shorter than
today, like under an hour, probably…I don’t exactly how long, it’s
more about we want to make sure we get things done. If you
decide you want to meet with me for I would think three more
visits, the fee I was charging you, which was (withheld) will drop
to half of that for those so that it works for you. And I can assure
you that with us clearing things up, you will live longer, healthier,
happier, more comfortably and have more fun, and therefore, so
will all of the people around you.
CLIENT: Around me.
JON: They will just have to. It’s, like, catching, because you will know
how to spin stuff.
CLIENT: Yeah.
JON: What happens when people are close is this thing starts to vibrate a
little, and of course, they are very close so she’s vibrating too, but
she’s vibrating like that which gets her vibrating like this. But, if
it’s this, it’s vibrating a little and she is just kind of like, whoa.
Then, it’s vibrating slow. Maybe it doesn’t stop, but it doesn’t go
like that. So that is where I would like to see you with that. And,
at some point, when he gets around to it, which I think would best
happen by example rather than by trying to shoe horn him into it,
at some point when you say things like, this is so wonderful for
me…you could even say, (name withheld), this is so wonderful for
me, but I really don’t think you should do it because it’s more
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
important for you to work more hours, that way you can install
more stereos, but I love it (laughter). That way he can say to you,
don’t tell me to work more hours. I can do it too. Whatever, I’m
just teasing you. But the way to do anything is to lead by example.
Make some sense?
CLIENT: It’s actually the opposite, that I want him to work less hours.
JON: I know you do. That’s why I’m saying, if you say that crazy stuff,
you get the opposite reaction, probably. (Name withheld), stop
taking care of yourself and go back to work (laughter). What do
you mean?! Why do I have to do that? Because it’s been
sometimes you have been pulling in this direction and he’s been
moving in that direction. Who knows what would happen if you
did the opposite?
CLIENT: Hmm, okay.
JON: Why are you home already?
CLIENT: (Laughter). Then he’ll say, you complain about me not coming
home and now you complain about me coming home?
JON: Yeah, it’s like, you could do, at least, one more job (laughter). Do
that a couple of times and he’ll never leave. One day he’ll be
sitting in bed all day yelling at you that you need to bring him tea
(laughter). Anyway, I’m just teasing you with that, but you guys
could have a great life. He’s a neat guy. I really like him.
CLIENT: He’s very smart.
JON: Yeah. Very smart, incredibly successful, aggressive, I mean in
terms of building and creating, I don’t mean personally
aggressive—I found him a gentleman and kind, but energized and I
think it was a good connection for you. And you are, certainly, a
good connection for him. My goodness, what a lucky guy that he
gets to hang out with somebody who is so beautiful and lovely and
smart and fun.
CLIENT: Oh, thank you.
JON: So, call (name withheld), because she doesn’t let me make
appointments because I will have three people coming at the same
time or something. Call (name withheld) and tell her this was
useful and that you would like to get back in a couple of weeks.
(Client)
Husband with Anxiety & Panic Attacks, Depression, Anxiety, 10-11-14
CLIENT: Okay. How soon do you want me to be back?
JON: In a couple weeks.
CLIENT: In a couple weeks?
JON: Two weeks.
CLIENT: In two weeks?
JON: Yeah, something like two weeks, depending on my schedule and
yours. Sound good?
CLIENT: Okay. So, do I go home with…?
JON: There’s nothing you need to do. We’ve gotten it all done. There is
no homework.
CLIENT: Okay, good.
JON: But you know what the magic words are, and the magic words are,
there is nothing that needs to be done. If it doesn’t seem like a
good idea and isn’t immediately possible, and it has to be
immediately possible, you see? I mean, it would be possible for
me to have worn different socks earlier, but if you say to me, go
and wear different socks this morning now, it’s impossible. So, if
it’s not possible, it’s not interesting. Because that silly waiter is
saying, but don’t you want to know yesterday’s specials? I’m
saying, not so much. Got it, sweetheart?
CLIENT: Yep.
JON: The meeting we had was a really good one. Would it be all right
with you if it was used in teaching mental health professionals?
CLIENT: Oh, good.
JON: Thank you.