Post on 18-Dec-2014
description
The University of Tokyo
Center for Innovation in Engineering Education (CIEE)
English for Engineers and Scientists
Technical Writing
Vince Ricci
Learn how to write for peers from a different academic discipline
OBJECTIVE
5 Steps
① Identify your contribution
Step One
② Improve your topic sentences
Step Two
③ Deepen your transitions
Step Three
④ Use active voice
Step Four
⑤ Confirm your articles
Step Five
Step One: Identify your contribution
ContributionA contribution includes an addition to your field’s overall knowledge
ContributionFor example, “I propose developing a mobile information terminal to help people access information in the event of a power failure caused by a natural disaster.”
How do you add value?
Do NOT write:
“I analyzed mobile information terminals
and found many issues related to power failures and
natural disasters.”
Context
Main idea
Why / How
What
Do write:
“I propose developing a mobile information terminal
to help people access information in the event of a
power failure caused by a natural disaster.”
Context
Main idea
Why / How
What
How to Identify & Express your Contribution
See page 1, lines 12-27
In Class ExerciseFind and circle your contribution.
If you cannot find your contribution, or if it is spread out across several sentences, spend a moment crystalizing your ideas into one clear contribution sentence.
Then, draw an arrow to the top of the page. Your contribution goes at the top!
Homework #1: Reorganize and write your paper so that your contribution appears in the first sentence.
Homework #1Reorganize and write your paper
so that your contribution appears in the first sentence.
Step Two: Improve your
topic sentences
Page 2, Line 38Japan is the country where a lot of natural disaster such as earthquakes or typhoons exists every year.
Context
Main idea
Page 6, lines 140 - 141
I propose developing a mobile information terminal to help people access information in the event of a power failure caused by a natural disaster.
Context
Main idea
Japan is the country where a lot of natural disaster such as earthquakes or typhoons
exists every year.
I propose developing a mobile information terminal to help people access information in the event of a power failure caused by a natural disaster.
Page 2, Line 45The adult male obtains 2000 kcal from food in a day, and uses 75% among them for the basal metabolic rate.
Page 6, Lines 144 - 145
When people lose power due to a natural disaster, they might want to use their cellular phones to access news and information.
The adult male obtains 2000 kcal from food in a day, and uses 75% among them for the basal metabolic rate.
When people lose power due
to a natural disaster, they might want to use their
cellular phones to access news and information.
In Class ExerciseCircle the first sentence of each
paragraph.
These are your topic sentences.
Read them all to yourself, one after the other (four or five total sentences).
In Class ExerciseNow, ask yourself this
question
If someone only read my topic sentences, would he be able to understand my contribution and main ideas?
Confusing TS1. Japan is the country where a lot of natural
disaster such as earthquakes or typhoons exists every year.
2. The adult male obtains 2000 kcal from food in a day, and uses 75% among them for the basal metabolic rate.
3. Here, I suggest the single-function device that displays information data received from digital broadcasting airwave.
4. The reliability of the cellular phone is low as the information terminal for the emergency due to battery problem.
Re-written TS1. I propose developing a mobile information terminal
to help people access information in the event of a power failure caused by a natural disaster.
2. When people lose power due to a natural disaster, they might want to use their cellular phones to access news and information.
3. If energy harvested from human motion could be converted into electric power, it would be possible to operate various devices.
4. I propose the creation of a single-function device to display information data received from digital broadcasting airwaves.
5. In closing, cellular phones are not reliable information terminals in the event of an emergency.
Best TS1. I propose developing a mobile information terminal
to help people access information in the event of a power failure caused by a natural disaster.
2. When people lose power due to a natural disaster, they might want to use their cellular phones to access news and information.
3. Cellular phones, however, are not reliable information terminals in the event of an emergency.
4. If energy harvested from human motion could be converted into electric power, it would be possible to operate various devices.
5. In closing, I propose the creation of a single-function device to display information data received from digital broadcasting airwaves.
Homework #2Re-write your topic sentences so
that they best express your contribution and main ideas.
③ Deepen your transitions
Step Three
How to Identify & Improve your Transitions
See page 8, lines 213 - 215
Weak TransitionHere, I suggest the single-function device that displays information data received from digital broadcasting airwave.
Strong Transitions
RELATIONSHIP TRANSITION
Consequence therefore, thus
Contrast & Comparison
but, however, still, yet
Similarity likewise, moreover
Summarizing in conclusion, on balance
Weak Transitions
RELATIONSHIP TRANSITION
Restatement in other words,
that is to say,
to put it differently,
In Class ExerciseFind and circle the transitions in
your paper.
Ask yourself, "Do my transitions express the connections between my ideas?"
Are my transitions misleading in any way?
Homework #3Re-write your transitions so that
they best express the connections between your ideas
④ Use active voice
Step Four
Active Voice
Subject Verb Objec
t Other
Active Voice
The group
will prese
nt
the report
next week.
Passive Voice
Subject Verb Objec
t Other
Passive Voice
The report
will be present
ed
by the group
next week.
Active Voice
The studen
tstested
the sample
s.
Passive Voice
The sampl
es
were tested
Take responsibility for what you are writing
Subject Verb Object Results
It is assumed that x = 3.
Subject Verb Object Results
It is assumed that x = 3. I assume x = 3.
Subject Verb Object Results
Data were constructed as follows.
Subject Verb Object Results
Data were constructed as follows. I constructed the data as follows.
In Class ExerciseFind and circle all examples of
passive voice in your paper.
Do they fit one of the following five reasons?
Five reasons for using the passive voice (Page 10, lines 288 – 305)
① The 'actor' is not known.
② The 'actor' is not important.
③ It is considered desirable to conceal the identity of the 'actor'.
Five reasons for using the passive voice(page 10, lines 288 – 305)
④ An impersonal tone is needed for academic writing.
⑤ A tactful tone is needed to smooth over an error or difficulty.
Homework #4Find all passive voice sentences
that do not fit one of the five reasons.
Then, change them into active voice .
⑤ Confirm your articles
Step Five
In Class ExerciseFind and circle all of the articles
in your paper.
Can you tell which nouns require definite and indefinite articles, and which require no article at all?
Homework #5Find and fix any mistakes in your
use of articles.
Questions?
Vince’s Perspective
Thank you.http://techwritingtodai.blogspot.jp
PEER REVIEW
① Be respectful
② Use "I" statements
③ Offer suggestions, not commands
CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS
④ Provide reader's point of view
⑤ Phrase comments clearly and carefully
⑥ Make sure comments are constructive and specific
"This paper is confusing. It keeps saying the same
things over and over again"
"It sounds like paragraph five makes the same point as
paragraphs two and three."